{Frightening}

I am frightened by someone (my cousins/brother) jumping out from behind a door and scaring the pee out of me. Now if we're talking some stranger that is there to murder/rob/harm me, then that would be something much more terrifying.

I am terrified of water. Earlier in my life, it was a debilitating fear. When I was 14, we went on a temple trip to the Manti Temple to do baptisms for the dead. For weeks (seriously) before that, I had nightmares that I was going to drown in the baptismal font. (Ridiculous, I know, I was doing the Lord's work, but are any fears really that rational?) I was so afraid that when I plugged my nose while going under the water, I squeezed too hard and made my nose bleed.

I remember one time, my dad tried to get me to go out on a canoe on a lake with him. My dad understands my fear of water. Besides, he's my dad, he's really not going to let anything bad happen to me. Well we got about a few yards from the shore, and I started panicking. I started crying and telling my dad to take me back. He kept trying to reassure me that I was fine. He was there and I had a life jacket on. He kept going, and I kept panicking. I ended up hyperventilating and they had to take me back.

One summer, after I turned 18, I was up at Mack's Inn with my cousins and they were trying to get me to go on a midnight float down the river. After all day (literally) they convinced me to go, telling me that the river was very shallow, barely 3 feet in some places, and they would let me sit in the middle of the boat, where I couldn't see the water and Spencer and Stephen would sit on either side of me. We walked down to the boat after dark. The closer we got to the water, the more tense I was getting. When we got right next to the boat, I started breathing heavier and heavier. They were having to talk me into it again. I had to sit and remember to breathe. I was starting to hyperventilate again. My cousin, Carrie was trying not to laugh. I remember her saying "I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I've just never seen someone so scared of something before." I know I must have been a sight: eyes closed, knuckles white from forming fists, breathing hard and on the verge of tears...at 18 years old.

I've gotten better recently, you'll be happy to know. When we were in Hawaii last year, we went whale watching off the island of Kona. I never hyperventilated, NOT ONCE! My husband and my in-laws were so impressed. I even got right up to the edge of the boat so that I could better see the whales! I was pretty surprised with myself.

I don't want my kids to be afraid of the water, so I am trying to get more comfortable with water for their sake...well right now just for Hailey's sake :) I put her in swimming lessons last year. A mommy & me class and it was so good for me. I thought I would be a nervous wreck with Hailey in the water. It might be a different story when I'm not in the water with her, and she's in a class of 10 with just one teacher...oh here comes the hyperventilating...

I'm frightened when Ryan is out of town and I'm at home by myself all night. I double check the doors, the garage, the windows. I leave lights on. I have to leave the TV on to sleep (which now as I think of it, probably isn't the best since it makes it harder to hear what's going on downstairs...hmmm...)

I'm terrified of heights. I will NEVER go on roller coasters. Go ahead, you can think you can convince me, but it will NEVER happen. I promise. I'm pretty stubborn about this. I can't even watch movies where there are a lot of overhead shots. Besides the fear of heights, I get terrible motion sickness as well. So watching things like this on a movie, especially on a big screen will make me woozy. I will never choose a window seat on a plane. This fear, combined with my fear of water made for an interesting flight to Hawaii. Since we were 30,000some feet over water for almost the entire flight...(although I did better on that flight than I expected too, and even looked out the window as we were descending on Oahu.)

I am frightened of horror films. I can't watch them anymore. Not that I ever really enjoyed them, but after watching The Ring, I didn't sleep for 2 weeks, therefore I will never watch anything in that movie genre again.